There’s Something About Harvey

First, thank you so much for the very kind, supportive comments on Hurricane Plants last week, and I’m sorry I’m only now getting around to replying to them. We’re still in semi-quarantine, but Dane has an appointment with a specialist this week and I’m hoping we’ll get some more information on Thursday. In the meantime, I’m spending my writing time staring at a blank screen and raging against a villainous, nefarious, rash-causing something. But really, bloggy peeps. Deeply. Thank you.

And now back to our regularly scheduled snark.

My husband is gainfully employed, for which I am deeply, deeply, truly, deeply thankful. And because of his gainful employment, and because this blog is on this newfangled dagnabbity contraption called the internet, and because prospective employers apparently can make you log into The Facebook during an interview these days (WTF, PEOPLE?), I will tell you only hypothetically of a conversation that may or may not have occurred between the two of us a while – quite a while, now, actually – back.

Me: Did you read my blog post?

Husband: Which one?

Me: The one about my ladybusiness?

Husband: Heheheheheh. Heheh. Heh.

Me: Nice.

Husband: Heheheheheh.

Me: Dude.

Husband: Okay, fine, yes. It was funny.

(Long pause)

Me: What?

Husband: Well, I was thinking of writing an ode to my (insert obnoxious-but-not-really-offensive-1984 -word for manparts here).

Me: That. Would. Be. Awesome.

And since that moment, all those weeks ago, I have time and time again wondered: what WOULD my husband say to his manparts, given the opportunity? So, with no further ado, I present:

An Imagined Letter From My Better Half to His Manparts

Hello, manparts.

So, manparts. Do you mind if I call you Towering Fortress of Manliness? Giant Turkey Leg of Awesomeness? Or Harvey? I’ve always liked the name Harvey. Harvey, it is.

So, Harvey.

You rock.

Sincerely,

Husband

p.s. We scored on that wife thing, huh?

(Smooch -s)

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “There’s Something About Harvey

  1. I’m going to be spending the rest of my night wondering what word you are referring to with “insert obnoxious-but-not-really-offensive-1984 -word for manparts here.” Funny post! The letter to your Uterus was also wonderful!

  2. I think perhaps “ardent manroot” would be a term of endearment that a man might offer to his manly business. Of course, I’ve also, less lovingly, heard it referred to as “that piece of dogflesh” – but that was in a novel, an angry woman talking to a less than satisfactory man. Just am offering it up as, you know, an option.

  3. Yes. Harvey is the perfect name.
    (Just assuming. Based on my “general knowledge” of that particular region.)

    But now.
    I must read the bit about your ladybusiness.

    Have you named her, too?
    Fingers crossed…

'Sup?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s