Upside-Down Funking and Other Musings.

No, that’s not a typo. MY MOM READS THIS, PEOPLE. Well, sometimes.

Y’all might’ve noticed I’ve been in an, ahem, funk lately. Focusing on the negative, feeling sorry for myself, yadayadayada. In the spirit of turning my funk upside down (which might not have any effect on my mood but would make for an interesting story over cocktails), I present the positive-focusing, endorphin-inducing, might-just-change-my-life-forever (or at least remind me of how good I have it) list of:


*Completely different from the list of Ten Needs of the SFB Mommyhood, mostly because none of these require kidnapping Tim Gunn or averting nuclear oblivion with a Mr. Clean product.

1. List-Making: Thank you, God, for all of your gifts, but most especially for Sharpie pens, engineering paper, my Drafting 101 prof who taught me how to number, letter and outline, and binder clips. Speaking of:

2. Binder Clips: Things I’ve used a binder clip for in the last week: bra closure, attaching a towel to the bottom of my Swiffer, hair clip (yes, seriously), massive tax preparation organization and diaper closure. Okay, that last one is an exaggeration but for real, y’all, IT JUST MIGHT WORK.

3. Starbucks.

4. Aunt Brookie: Aunt Brookie, I swear, is an encyclopedia of s**t that can go wrong with your kids and how to fix it. That might, in fact, be her Indian name:  She Who Fixes S**t that Goes Wrong With Sister’s Kids. Kind of like Princess Running Stream, but, you know. Not.

5. Naptime.

6. The Monster at the End of the Book, The Monster at the End of the Book Pt. II, Angry Birds, Fisher Price Animal Sounds, Fisher Price Puppy Parts, Etc.: I fought the smartphone for years (conveniently, those years were spent in Denmark where I didn’t really need one.) and OHMYGOD how wrong can one person be? Because even if I didn’t use my phone for anything but kid apps (because I promise I don’t have the EOnline app, uh-huh, RIGHT.), that would be enough.

7. My Mom and Dad: They’ve put up with me all these years, so I suppose they rate. 🙂 SMOOCH, Mmmm-Mmmm.

8. Any Whole Foods with a Hot Bar: I can cook five things. Of those, only four require the actual application of heat. Which means, I think, that I can only cook four things. You see where this is going.

9. Benadryl, Ny-Quil, Tylenol P.M. and Tequila: All of which have the magical power to HELP ME SLEEP LIKE THE DEAD.

and, FINE, I’ll admit it (but just this once, honey, don’t go getting all puffy and whatnot):

10. My Loving Spouse: Who, with his weird taste in sci-fi, bad jeans and muscle tees, completely negated my coolness, but who also manages to make me laugh when I want to throw something at him, picks up milk, pizza and Pei Wei whenever I ask, mows the lawn, makes a decent bartender and is the best dad I know.

Plus, he had a hand in this:

Whatever, dude.

Smooch -S

p.s. Linking up with Shasta (FAB, lady!) at The Good Life for Monday Listicles (because we all know how I love a good list).


36 thoughts on “Upside-Down Funking and Other Musings.

  1. Binder clips! I SERIOUSLY love those things. At my job they gave me a box of 144 of them so I wouldn’t ask for any more for a while. LOL

  2. Any office supplies loving girl is my sister form another mother!
    Shout out to your parents and hubby: copy and paste then redo for any acceptance speech in the future!! Love this list.

    • OH. NO. so glad ellen is bringing you the binder clips because, seriously, i keep one in every drawer in the house (which amuses my husband to no end!). it’s good that my sister has a sense of humor because otherwise… well, it wouldn’t be pretty. 🙂

  3. Okay, I had to chime in because I have boxes of binder clips and I use them all of the time! Those, wire ties, and duct tape are my arsenal. I’m going to get some binder clips to Erin now! Ellen

    • thank you, thank you, because I was totally about to have to stalk erin until i figured out how to send her a gargantuan box of binder clips, and i think we all realize that would just not turn out well. also, how awesome is all that duct tape in animal print? and omg when did i start sounding like a serial killer on this blog??

  4. I’m a big one on lists and on Tylenol PM — but I’ve lost the ability to nap. It’s horrible. I remember taking two hour one when my oldest was a toddler.

  5. Awww, I have always wanted to be an encyclopedia of some kind of s*#t. MY LUCKY DAY IS FINALLY HERE!!! Celebrating with a cold Kansas pale ale under my faboo new sign. hollah!

    also, I have Zebra print binder clips.

    and in conclusion, if you had an A. and B. to add to #4, it would likely be A. the yoda- like mindbending ability she has given you to power through and 2. the snort inducing laughter that accompanies you and AB at all times of togetherness.
    just sayin’ if you did have an A and B.

  6. Sorry you’ve been in a funk….I can kind of relate as I’ve been in one, too. I hope making your list helped lift you up for at least a while. 🙂
    I also love binder clips and probably don’t acknowledge my love for them as much as they deserve. And I also love Starbucks and naptime!
    And here’s something odd about me….I don’t have a smart phone or a cell phone with a real plan. I have this dinky prepaid cell phone that I mostly forget to take with me or turn on. It gets me a lot of teasing from my husband.

    • Thanks! I”m pretty sure this funk is completely of my own doing, so hopefully I’ll be a little more cheerful soon! Until then… well, Starbucks. 🙂

      I totally did not want a smart phone because I was so annoyed with my husband being constantly on his blackberry (we’d be walking around spain, and i’d turn around and he’d be texting work. IN SPAIN.). I gave in when we moved home and bought my first non-ipod apple product, and it’s been addictive ever since. So I totally identify with not having a phone! It was strangely liberating, actually!

  7. I love office supplies of any kind…including decorative binder clips. I’ve never tried using them for hair clips but I’ve filed the idea away for possible future emergency use. Great list! Hope it helped get rid of the funk you’ve been in!

  8. Ha, the binder clips would totally work on a diaper. Not that I’ve tried. Ahem.

    I’m so with you on the smartphone. How did I live before I could hand this baby over to the toddler while waiting for various things? I must’ve actually made up games or some crazy thing like that.

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