Why Periods Should be Punctual (Ha.)

Periods should be punctual. I mean, white pants, y’all. Romantic vacation planning. Too much tequila at a critical time of the month. Or maybe your biological clock is ticking and OH MY GOD I MUST HAVE ANOTHER BABY. RIGHT. NOW.

Or maybe that’s just me?

I was two days late this month. Forty-eight hours. That’s nothing. It’s not even long enough to decide if I like a new hair cut, and it takes more time for Dane to pass a foreign object into his diaper (Don’t ask. You really, really don’t want to know.). And yet. AND YET.

I didn’t take any tests this month. We haven’t been trying for that long and God knows I have no reason to be concerned and every reason to be thankful we were able to have Dane with relative ease, but I’ve still been spending a mint on fertility and pregnancy tests. For February, I quit. No tests. No stress. Just nature taking it’s course. Right? Uh-huh.

Thanks for that, nature. And by that I mean, well, NOTHING.

I’ve been asking myself why I’m up on this have-another-baby-immediately- bandwagon. I’m very, very happy with my family. That’s sort of the problem. Before we had Dane, I didn’t know how many kids I wanted. I mean, I love Aunt Brookie’s peeps as though they’re my own (Really. And I can say that because I have one of my own and OMG I LOVE THOSE KIDS). But you don’t know how you’re going to do until they are, in fact, your own, and as it turns out, I love this motherhood stuff. I want six or seven. A passel, y’all, I want a freaking PASSEL of babies. But I have a dilemma, because I don’t have another fifteen years to turn those puppies out (also, my husband. But let’s focus on the important). I’m aging pretty effing rapidly. And now, all of a sudden, I’m looking at a limited number of years to have a bunch of little pattering feet and holy crap, all joking aside, I’m terrified, TERRIFIED I’m going to run out of time.

I know this is all very, very irratonal (and also possibly TMI as I, you know, share my deepest emotions with the internet and all. Awesome.). Lest ye forget, I haven’t had a problem yet. On the other hand, I’m not always what you’d call hormonally stable. Add in a little disappointment and cramps that prescription drugs won’t touch, and I spent the weekend… oh, let’s call it moping. Raging bitchery sounds a little, I don’t know, badmommy.

And now I feel both badmommy and guilty, because instead of focusing on our funny, skinny, roaring lion of a baby, I spent these last few days bitching and moaning. I mean, I could’ve been quacking and flapping like a duck and singing fourteen verses of Wheels on the Bus at the top of my lungs and reconfiguring the train table and in general crawling around and acting like a crazy person. Because, for real, y’all, I love that sh*t.

Quack, quack, lady.

So I”m planning on better weather for March. You?

Smooch -s

p.s. I’m sorry, y’all, that this post is a total downer. I feel much better this week than I did over the weekend!

p.p.s. Yes, my husband is very, very patient. I wouldn’t call him a saint (by any, ANY stretch of the imagination, but he is indeed ONE PATIENT FELLOW).

p.p.p.s. Honey, don’t let that go to your head.

AND FINALLY: I linked up with Shell at Things I Can’t Say, which was the first linky I ever connected with… it’s her second anniversary over there and it’s fab! Happy day, Shell!


8 thoughts on “Why Periods Should be Punctual (Ha.)

  1. I feel for you. We want something, or in this case, someone so badly when it doesn’t happen it’s difficult to recover. It matters. I hope he/she happens soon. I wish you the very, very best.

    • thanks, heidi! i know i’m complaining about something that’s relatively small in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes these things just take over for me… your well wishes really do make me feel better!

    • ha, thanks! my husband would also like to know the exact definition of a passel… honestly, at this point i think i’ll be happy if we make it to three. I guess i should really get to two and see how that works out. 🙂

    • thanks for the well wishes, i’m hoping it happens soon – i know there’s a grander plan and all but man it’s hard for me not to want to call all the shots all the time! we’ll see if we make it past two…


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