So I had this theory, right, that once I changed Dane into a convertible car seat from his infant car seat (into which he still fits, because he’s a wee smushy 10th percentile kind of guy), he’d stop falling asleep in the car. Because, you know, the manufacturer of my SUV lined my air vents with Valium and every time we go anywhere between the hours of wake-up and nap-time, I’m doing acrobatics trying to keep his eyes open. So, pursuant to my hypothesis (heheheh SMARTYPANTS), I spent two hours this morning switching out his car seat while feeding him puffs and juice to keep him placated (which alone should have kept him awake for, say, three days), and then we ran a super quick errand and were in the car for all of, say, TEN MINUTES, and of course you know what happened next… Not only did he fall asleep, but now I can barely reach him in his new seat because of these damnable newfangled safety regulations about keeping your child rear-facing until roughly their 23rd birthday (really, baby cops? CAN YOU PLEASE THROW ME A BONE HERE?) and thusly could not wake him up for the last two minutes of our drive home, and instead of naptime, I’m now witnessing (via the infernal, addictive video monitor), a WWE SMACKDOWN FEATURING PUPPY THE DEMOLISHER VERSUS GREAT DANE THE NONSLEEPER, also featuring THROW BUNNY FROM THE TRAIN, AN ELECTRIFYING DISPLAY OF PILLOW SMASHING and finishing up with THE TEN MINUTE OR POSSIBLY ONE HOUR LONG TRAIL OF TEARS.
So in conclusion: 1. Britax, you suck. 2. Lexus, you, too. 3. I should never theorize again, and 4. I NEED A MARGARITA.
What now, Mommy?
Happy Friday, y’all.