Julie Andrews, What Did I Ever Do to You?

This happens EVERY. TIME.

So we went to the doctor on Tuesday and had a great checkup (which is nice, because between months four and six every checkup was followed by weeks of weight checks and crazy pumping and feeding and no sleeping and frankly, I’m tired), and during Dane’s visit I had the TEMERITY to suggest to the very nice doctor that not only was Dane doing well with eating and general feel-goodness, he was sleeping. And I went on to say that he had even taken an hour and a half long nap that very morning, and as soon as I said it I laughed and said I better knock on wood and then I DID actually knock on wood because I was kidding but then I wasn’t, either, and can you guess what’s happened? Do you know, Julie Andrews? Karma heard me and remembered that no good came of MY wicked childhood and even less of my wicked teenage and college years, and that bitch said OH NO YOU DI’INT and now my child hasn’t slept for more than half an hour during nap time SINCE THAT VERY MOMENT. Did you not hear me karma? I KNOCKED ON WOOD AND EVERYTHING.

This. Means. War. Yes, karma, I’m talking to you. WAR.

Excuse me while I go comfort my little non-sleeping baby.


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